


interlude in a new york diner

by j0hnirvings



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Diners, Fix-It, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, New York, Pining, Running Away, alt title: neil perry and the mortifying ordeal of reciprocated love, technically a first date???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29514309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/j0hnirvings/pseuds/j0hnirvings
Summary: the boy looks up again, features determined and lips stretched into a nervous line. neil's heart flips inside out and his brain melts into syrup."can we talk about it?"----------a soft pause between acts of a love story
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	interlude in a new york diner

the clock reads 6:32am when they stumble into the diner.

outside, the city is waking but the sky is pitch black; snow covers the streets and buildings in a soft white blanket. inside, the walls are a buttery yellow, and a jukebox glows dimly in the corner as the smell of coffee and toast fills the air.

neil's stomach moans, and he realizes he can't remember when they last ate. the winter chill stains his bones and, in some attempt to shake it off, brushes snow out of his hair.

_that wasn't so bad. out of one world, into another._

"let's sit down, i'm starved."

he hardly registered the words leaving his mouth, but they scoot into a red booth in the back, up against high, grimy windows. todd sits across from him, rubbing his forehead and letting out a breathy, satisfied laugh.

"we made it."

"welcome to new york, todd."

he can hear the smile in his own voice.

a waitress stops by the table, eyes tired and mildly surprised at the sight of two boys up so early. they get two black coffees- mainly because they don't know what else to order- and the waitress shakes her head as she saunters away.

todd slips quickly: he lets himself lean back into the booth and smile, "i can't believe it."

"what? that we really got away with this?"

"yes! yknow, i... before the bus came, i was so scared we'd freeze to death out there."

neil feels himself flush, as if his face could turn any more pink. the bus stop; a sturdy marker where an alarming amount of life changing things can happen to a person. todd's face had a frightening glow then, outside, blue eyes shimmering and neil ached somewhere deep in his ribs.

todd is happy now, lips curving fondly, and neil starts to feel the ache again. _oh_. oh, not now.

"you certainly looked like it, lips blue- i could hear your teeth chattering like maracas-"

"neil!"

"-and you were trying to mother _me_!"

they burst into giggles at the memory, nerves from the past few hours unraveling into laughter. neil was eternally grateful for such luck; they could've frozen outside, lost their money, missed the bus- but they made it. oddly enough, dropped in the middle of this mazelike city, neil feels _safe_.

todd's eyes scrunch up at the corners when he laughs, and neil can't imagine bringing anyone else.

he hears the _click-clack_ of heels and the waitress has returned, swiftly pouring coffee into two white mugs and setting them on the table. on impulse, they both jump up to pay and the waitress startles slightly.

"you kids look like you've had a long night," she observes, eyeing them worriedly, "drinks are on the house, alright?"

they slump back into the booth, thanking her profusely- the waitress simply says it's her pleasure and leaves shaking her head again, but grinning. neil silently thanks some stray deity for their lucky streak.

he's starting to like new york already; the diner's other inhabitants have hardly spared them a glance. it's nice to be unseen, sometimes. the lights, dangling from the ceiling and framed by red lampshades, flicker and wink at them warmly. 

"how long until they notice we're gone?"

todd sighs, "a few days for me, i think, but you..."

he can't help but grimace at that, "i doubt my father will come looking for me."

"neil..."

"todd, it's fine, honestly. i'm glad."

he thinks of welton and neil's stomach churns in an odd way. it was a prison, but a better home than his father's ever was. neil won't miss him much, and his heart clenches as he wishes desperately for no one to come looking- if anything, his parents should be glad he's out of their hair.

then he thinks of the poets, and he wants to sob.

"you think they miss us already?"

"who? the poets?"

"who'd you think, todd?"

the boy rolls his eyes, expression melting into a mournful frown and neil regrets bringing up their friends instantly; neil had known the poets for years, but they were still todd's first real group of friends.

"sorry, that was harsh," he murmurs, and todd shakes his head.

"it's okay... i miss them too."

they must be going out of their minds, neil realizes. he wishes he could send some telepathic message to charlie- to say _we're okay_. _we made it and we miss you guys already_ \- maybe they'd get the memo through meeks' and pitts' radio. the poets had snuck them out of welton the night before, and neil was already thinking up some hopefully wonderful gift to send back once they were settled.

he thinks of the poets, pink cheeks and tears and beaming smiles shooing them off to the bus stop, and it hurts a little less.

the coffee is strong and bitter and neil makes dramatic gulps to keep it down, but he'll take anything to distract himself from todd across the table. todd anderson- loose blonde locks and soft blue eyes boring holes into his heart- todd anderson, who won't stop _gazing_ at neil as he fiddles with the handle of his cup.

_it's always been like this, hasn't it? before we even knew._

instead, neil says

"you should drink, it'll be a few more bus stops before we find a place to sleep."

todd blinks and looks down, perplexed, like he's been woken up from a spell. it makes neil's stomach twist and his lungs burn; he knows todd wants to say something important. he wonders how many other people have felt the sudden impulse to puke in front of the love of their life- many, he hopes. 

the boy looks up again, features determined and lips stretched into a nervous line. neil's heart flips inside out and his brain melts into syrup.

"can we talk about it?"

"huh?"

"neil, you know what i mean."

"oh..." the words get caught in his throat and the boy across the table has a look in his eye, but neil can't speak. 

"neil... sorry, i shouldn't have-"

"no! no, you're right," todd's always right. how is talking all of the sudden? "did you... like it?"

todd looks up quickly, brows drawn, abandoning the chain of straw wrappers he'd been tying absent-mindedly. his expression is unreadable, and neil realizes with a terrible lurch in his belly that he might've said the wrong thing already.

_i love you so much but i don't know how you'll take it._

but todd anderson has a knack for surprising him at very convenient moments, and out of his mouth comes 

"of course i did."

it's a quiet, precious secret slipped into neil's ears, and a weight floats off of his chest. something catches in his jaw and he wants to cry, but he's happy- deliriously happy. relieved, too? when neil looks up, shiny and nervous, feeling like he's waiting for approval, todd smiles back in a honeyed way.

 _we kissed_. trembling at the bus stop minutes before midnight, they'd kissed. neil doesn't know what exactly came over him, but his heart had burst and suddenly they were kissing, lips pressed together desperately with neil clinging to the boy's jaw and todd's gloved hand at his waist and everything was so _warm_ -

"i was worried," neil finally breathes, "if we didn't make it, well- i might not have gotten another chance."

"oh, neil..."

"sorry, that's- i just..." oh christ, he's floundering- "uh, was that too straightforward?"

 _nice going loverboy. you're hopeless_!

neil's heart is pounding in a terrible way and his hands, cold and clammy, have a death grip on his knees under the table, but todd just... smiles. smiles in such a wonderful way that neil can't help but feel ridiculous for worrying so.

"that's... sweet, neil. you're sweet. you're so- for the record... i was about to kiss you myself out there."

the words are hushed, but they almost knock neil out of his hair. todd wanted to kiss _him_? in hindsight, it made sense- but the idea that todd found him desirable at all was enough to make his head spin. and it was spinning just enough for neil to open his mouth and sputter out

"i wouldn't mind if you did."

it's a start; neil knows he'll have to confess eventually- how he'll never tire of todd's enchanting smile, of his soul-stirring poetry, of his fidgety hands and heart so big and kind it must fill his whole chest. but telling todd he'd kiss him again is a good start.

something nudges his foot under the table and, when he looks up, finds todd grinning so bright that neil resolves to never look to the sun or moon ever again- not when he has both stirring inside the boy sitting across from him.

"todd, you really should drink something."

they laugh again, eyes shining, although the blush comes from the warmth instead of the cold.

**Author's Note:**

> been up to my ears in anderperry hc's and this one was floating around for a bit but here it is!! finally finished!!!
> 
> hugs n kisses to everyone stopping by 💕💕


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